I had been feeling a little overwhelmed. We spent a lot of time in Bridgeport, after the tornado, just trying to let God use us where we were needed. There were about 4 days there that we had gotten minimum amounts of sleep. We were back home and busy cleaning our house up after not having power for 5 days. Babysitting the wonderful twin babies and keeping our family clothed and fed! It was a little tiring, I must say. It was VERY MUCH worth it and I am NOT complaining at all. I love being able to be used. It is just that there are times where it can wear me out. Thru all of this I had allowed my self to become short tempered. I never really argued with any of my family but I was always short in my answers to their questions. For example:
The day before Mother's Day Joseph took me to pick out my climbing rose bush. I was not in it at all. I didn't care if I got anything at all for Mother's Day, I was just ready to go home. While at Lowe's we were allowing Levi to walk around and there was a dear lady who thought that we were not paying him enough attention and hollered at us across the plants to ask us if he was our child. We smiled nicely and said "yes". She preceeded to tell us that she hoped we were watching him because something could fall on him and he could be hurt. Joseph was very nice and said yes mam we are. I on the other hand had that look, you know the one that momma's get when someone is trying to tell them how to raise their kids, yes thats the one. This dear lady then said "well, I guess I need to go on and mind my own bussiness since he isnt my child". Then I smiled oh so sweetly and said " yes mam". I looked up to see that my husband was not pleased with me at all. He scolded me and at the time I did not care. We left lowes without a rose bush, needless to say. I would never have admitted to my husband, but not getting a rose bush did not have anything to do with the fact that we couldnt find the "right" one. It had everything to do with me just not wanting to be there and what I was dealing with inside. I only tell you this because I want you to see just what kind of spirits I had been in.
Sunday Morning came, Mother's Day, the day that was suppose to be all about mommas. I was not caring anything about that either. I knew that I would have to go to church with a smile on my face, you know because I am the pastor's wife and we are always suppose to be happy.
When I got up I was ready to just do the same Sunday morning routine. I came down the hall to get a towel, my wonderful man was in the living room ironing his shirt for the day, and as I turned to go back to the bedroom there was a beautiful vase of roses along with a card from him. I melted! I felt so unworthy. After all the attitude that they had endured from me the past couple of days. As I read the card I felt the tears begin to form. Joseph had no idea just what I had been feeling, because I had not shared with him. We usually are so open with one another, but for some reason this time I had not been. Before he headed out the door I hugged and kissed my man and told him thank you and that that was just what I had needed.
After he left it was just me and my Father. We had a good time while I was getting dressed. I was really convicted for the way that I had treated my family and for not setting examples in the attitude that I so richly desire them to have.
Joseph preached an awesome message Sunday. Thru the message I realized that I had failed in mothering my teenager. I love her and I want her to succeed beyond her circumstances. She just might hate me for a little while, but it will be worth it, as long as she learns to let her self become so developed in the awesomeness of God that nothing else matters. What an honor that would be for me if I will allow God to use me in this matter.
I will let you know that I have repented my sin and have led a much better attitude this week. With my Heavenly Father at my side I will be able to accomplish the tasks set before me.
I have learned this week to 'Cast my cares on the Lord, we will sustain me; He will never let the righteous fall.' (psalm 55:22)
I have actually ENJOYED my housework this week. I have loved singing and dancing with Levi as we learn new Bible verses. I have loved teaching Levi to read (your baby can read flash cards). We had a great Ladies Bible study this week. I have fallen in love with those girls that come to my house every Tuesday. They are the Bomb diggity (if that is how you spell it). God has just given me a fresh fire burning inside of me to do his will and see the big plans he has instore for those around me. Tomorrow we will be leaving to go to the Extraordinary Womens conference in Birmingham and I am excited to see what God has is going to do there.
I must say thank you to those of you who read my blog and so sweetly tell me that you enjoy it. I am not sure that you are telling me the truth, but non the less it encourages me.
Above is a snapshot of my roses that my precious husband gave me. I have to say that I love him beyond comprehension.
Your sister in Christ,
Courtney
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